Reasons Why it Was Not a Ninja...

I came across a news headline this morning that states, "3 Armed Ninjas Rob Man in His Florida Driveway" found here. Here are the facts:

• The Victim claimed that three men dressed as "ninjas" held him down and took his wallet cell phone and cash.
• The "ninjas" were wearing gloves and had guns.
• The "ninjas" had everything covered except for their eyes and spoke in very low tones.
• Two of the three "ninjas" have been arrested.
  

Based on these facts, here's why these 3 men were definitely NOT ninjas:

1. The fact that there were 3 of them. If a real ninja was involved, it would only take one to get the job done.
2. A ninja doesn't need to hold down their victim. If a ninja wants someone's wallet, they'll just take it and the victim wouldn't feel anything.
3. The fact that the "ninjas" had guns. Since when do ninjas carry guns!? Ninja Stars, a sword/dagger and maybe some nun-chucks... maybe. And that's it!
4. The "ninjas" spoke in very low tones. Ninjas don't need to instruct their victims on what to do. They just do what they want without making a single sound.
5. The fact that they got caught. Everyone knows ninjas don't get caught. They have ways of making themselves disappear unnoticed. Ninjas would never have a car with a license plate to give them up, or leave any kind of paper trail. Come on.
6. And most importantly, the victim is still alive. If a real ninja has a target, that target will meet its maker 10 times out of 10.

And that's why, these men were not ninjas.